The Secret Life of Esteban Moody
Posted by Esteban
the new dance floor at Clockwork
Let me tell you a secret. Are you ready? The secret is this: you’re not who you say you are. You’re a secret agent. You’re in disguise. You have a secret mission.
Remember that night in Monaco when you almost ran me over in your Veyron? You were with a strange man. What was in that envelope? Did you think my feelings were hurt when you pretended not to know me?
I know what you’ll say: that your little cat-and-mouse games are for the good of humankind. That jelly doughnut is a radio transmitter. They implanted cyanide capsules in your teeth. Your cybernetic eyes give you x-ray vision. Your telephoto lens is really a gun and your gun is really a telephoto lens. If not for you, the earth’s core would have exploded last week, the population of Eastern Europe would have been wiped out by a brain-eating virus, and Fort Knox would have been blasted into space by a deranged ex-president.
Well, my friend, I will tell you another secret: I’m an agent, too — a double-agent — and my mission is to make you think you’re a secret agent. Yep, that’s right. That recruiting office in Moscow where you signed up? A front! Those filing cabinets were empty and that “mental aptitude test” was just a ruse (uh, not that your score was actually the “highest in recorded history,” either). That first “mission” in Caracas? A carefully orchestrated set-up: there was no atom bomb in Martín’s suitcase, no heroin in the soccer balls, no kidnapped US senator, and no zombie army controlled by an evil mastermind — just local university students who thought they were extras in a horror film. And, no, you didn’t stop the planet from exploding, invent a cure for a brain-eating virus, or defuse any giant rocket-blasters on Fort Knox. I’m sorry.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, like I said, I’m a double-agent. The forces who employ me wanted you distracted, and then your ego crushed when you realized none of it was real. You’d have become a babbling idiot, no one would believe your crazy stories, and you’d spend the rest of your life in a straightjacket. Not a bad plan, actually. My employers think you’re dangerous.
But what’s really been happening? Sure, it’s all been fake, but the fact is that I’ve been training you to be the world’s most dangerous secret agent — and it’s worked. Every obstacle, every enemy, every false clue I’ve put in your path? You’ve brushed them aside with your steely aplomb. No, you didn’t stop the planet from exploding, but you would have if it had been going to.
I’m telling you because your training is over. Congratulations. I wish we had time for a party. The fact is that now that I’ve told you, I may not have much time. In fact, I hear someone coming up the stairs now: a lurching limp, the smell of Egyptian cigarettes. Don’t let me down, kid. Get out there — the world needs saving. It needs it bad. Go!
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Funk me, it’s Friday! | 28 March 2008: play or right-click here to download.
Set list:
James Brown: Nose Job
Freddie & The Kinfolk: Blabbermouth
Jesse Anderson: Mighty Mighty
Lefties Soul Connection: The Chank
The Pinker Tones: One of Them
Georges Deligny: Panique au salon (Grooveblaster remix)
Ingram: Get Your Stuff Off
Misterholmes & The Brotherhood: Thrift Store Find
Sonido Lasser Drakkar: Pontiac Firebird ‘82
Underground Maniatikas: Lean Like A Chola
Amalgamated Funk Co.: I Wanna Take You Out
The Brothers Johnson: Come Together
Mad Dog & The Pups: Hep Squeeze (Party Time)
Main Source: Fakin the Funk
Orgone: No More Gravy
The Politicians: Love Machine (Instrumental)
Pacha Massive: Don’t Let Go
The Falcons: I Can’t Help It
Stranger
Posted by myg
I’ve been asleep so long and now I’m awake I don’t think my vision is quite right yet. I sort of remember what I look like, but when I look at myself this is all I can see. Who was I, again?
Life at the speed of life
Posted by myg
Hey I haven’t forgotten. I swear. It’s just a thing these days. I miss you and I miss this blog and all of it.
Alex’s last day of class forever is tomorrow.
Keep the light on for us.
love,
myg
The Mandelbrot Set Returns!
Posted by Xaxoqual
Hello folks!
Yeah, I know it’s been a long while since I’ve post, and I apologize to any clandestine fans who haven’t commented or anything. Its not really that I haven’t been playing at clckwrk - its more that I just haven’t been satisfied with a piece enough to stick it up on here, is all.
Anyways, no more - since I’m quite happy with this mix here, again - both the tunage and sticking it together. I still have a lot to learn, and could definitely use a better toolset to work with while mixing, but otherwise, I think its good and hope you do too. Its a mix of melodic housey piano stuff and some bleepy electro cuts and all that stuff. Kinda splits in the middle then bends back, funnily enough.
As usual, feedback and stuff is appreciated.
The Mandelbrot Set - April 6 2008 | Click to play or Right Click / Save As to Download
Tracklisting:
Chloe - Its Sunday
My My - Fast Freeze
Francesco Tristano - The Melody (Balil Remix)
Gui Boratto & Martin Eyerer - The Beach
Asli - Springsequence
Still Going - Still Going Theme
Pryda - Pjanoo
Alexkid & Chloe - Afterblaster (Mazi and Duriez Remix)
John Acquaviva & Olivier Giacomotto - Sofa King (Polar Noise Remix)
Gel Abril - Your Face is a Mess (Deetron Remix)
Nightguy - Pretty Face
Booka Shade - Mandarine Girl
(awesome character pic by Fishyboner, too..)
In Which I Am Annoyed by the New Viewer
Posted by Esteban
A new viewer. I have to admit I don’t know you anymore. Is it me? Where once I saw a person, now I just see fragments. Which makes me wonder what you see. The same Esteban Moody you saw before or just the wreckage of evolution? Eyeball-machine connected to perception-machine connected to ideology-machine all squishing away in there like clockwork? Just bouncing around like billiard balls you and me and the rest? I take a stone from the left pocket of my great-coat. I watch the evening news and it makes me angry. Someone is calling on the telephone.
This is the latest news in science. As usual, a hundred years behind. I saw a doe and her fawns still behind the trees, then they silently bounded out of sight. The point is that it
doesn’t bother me in the least. Quite frankly, it’s reassuring to see the rest of the world finally getting it. Look, that old way of thinking was just getting in the way, like you were Captain Kirk sitting on the bridge of the Enterprise in your head barking orders at Sulu to make the arm and the hand move to pick up a glass of water and telling Spock to finish up those budget reports for Wednesday? Remember how you were always tuning into the evil Kirk or fighting the you from another dimension or switching bodies with that chick? Well, it turns out that was the real you all along.
In here, we’re cool with that. Some days I have the head of a giant rabbit. I change the color of my skin. We’ve always been cool with that. The philosophy of it, the psychology, the epistemology — you know, the whole enchilada.
So why you gotta make me buy a new graphics card? Oh noes!
Letter from the Sun
Posted by Esteban
[photo: Chestnut Rau]
___________________________________
Dear Esteban,
Stop calling me Kelvin.
Love,
The Sun
___________________________________
Two podcasts for the price of one!
Funk me, it’s Friday! | 21 March 2008: play or right-click here to download.
Set list:
Jimmy Smith: Mission Impossible
Mandrill: Fat City Strut
The Boogaloo Investigators: Let The Groove Move You
Diamond Uprisers: Diamond Jerk (New Kind of Jerk)
The Pointer Sisters: Yes We Can, Can
Ebony Vibe Everlasting: We Are Family
Freddie & The Kinfolk: The Goat
The Fabulous Counts: Lunar Funk
The Capitols: Afro-Twist
James Brown: Devil’s Den (Live)
Billy Preston: Gospel Groove
Lo-Fidelity Allstars: Tied To The Mast
Black Star: Astronomy (8th Light)
The Buena Vistas: Soul Clappin
Broad Street Gang: 12th Street Man
Syl Johnson: Don’t Give It Away
Sugar Billy: Super Duper Love Pt1
Sugar Billy: Super Duper Love Pt2
Bea Ford & James Brown: You’ve Got The Power
Funk me, it’s Friday! | 28 March 2008: play or right-click here to download.
Set list:
James Brown: Night Train
The O’Jays: Love Train
Xavier: Work That Sucker To Death
Chris Joss: Get With It
The Apples: Killing
Chuck D & the SLAMjamz Artist Revue: Soul Power
Fred Wesley & The J.B.’s: More Peas
The Snugs: Strugglin’ (Original)
Lack of Afro: Pure Filth
Soul Toranodoes: Go For Yourself
Speedometer: Straight
Stevie Wonder: Signed, Sealed, Delivered
Sam Cooke: (Somebody) Ease My Troublin’ Mind
Party Like A Rock Star
Posted by Esteban
Aussieangel, me, Bambie, and Guen rockin’ out at Clockwork
You’re a rock star, honey. I’m a rock star. That kid on the bus today was a rock star. Everyone’s a goddamn rock star. Why? Because we rock. That’s called logic.
I’m not talking about a video game; I’m not talking about some shit in a can. It’s not a fantasy. I’m talking about the raw power, the super sexual charge, the joyful charisma that you radiate just by getting up in the morning. Teenagers chase you down the street. They know your songs by heart. I’m wearing a t-shirt with your face on it.
Everybody loves you. Even snotty talk show hosts giggle when you flash a smile. Your parents apologize for all the grief they gave you for dropping out of school. You look good in spandex.
But you’re a different kind of rock star, you know. You’re not fueled by insecurity and you’re not an egomaniac. I know you don’t make a lot of money. You don’t trash hotel rooms. You’re not going to die by choking on your own vomit. You won’t end up a pathetic dinosaur pimping out your own brilliance for quick cash.
Here you come, walking down the street. The sun glints off your mirrored shades. There’s a rock n roll soundtrack for the world today, and everything’s gonna be all right.
You Don’t Know What You’re Missing
Posted by Esteban
Remember that fantasy you have of me in a cheerleader’s uniform dancing on a leopard-skin chair? Well, you’re going to be disappointed that you missed this past Monday night at Clockwork. The game was “Should It Stay Or Should It Go,” which consisted of me pulling out random items from my inventory and those in attendance voting “Stay” or “Go.” (The cheerleader uniform was a “stay,” the leopard chair a “go.”) Other items of note:
Viking Helmet: Go
Cowboy Hat: Go
Bondage Table: Stay
Sex Chair: Go (too tacky)
Long blue hair: Go
Checkered jacket: Stay
Squirrel on face: Go
Dog that ran away: [ran away]
White lollypop: stay
Something that was called a shirt but was really just kind of a trapezoid on my boobs, WTF?: Go
“Irish woman undershirt”: Go
But besides that, the music! What will you hear? Well, put it this way, when we all get to Heaven and they’re passing out the ‘77 Camaros and GTO’s, the leather jackets, and the combat boots, this is what will be playing on the car stereos. The ecstatic glory of rock n roll.
The fun usually starts around 6:30ish SLT and goes for a couple of hours.
I’m Esteban Moody and I paid for this ad.
Kill City | 24 March 2008: play or right-click here to download.
Set list:
Ted Nugent: Free For All
Sweet: The Ballroom Blitz
Kiss: Strutter
Journey: Any Way You Want It
The Patti Smith Group: So You Want To Be (A Rock ‘n’ Roll Star)
Radio Birdman: Descent into the Maelstrom
The Modern Lovers: Pablo Picasso
T. Rex: The Groover
Motley Crue: Too Young to Fall in Love
Naked Raygun: Peacemaker
Sex Pistols: Holidays In The Sun
Gang Of Four: Armalite Rifle
The Psychedelic Furs: Sister Europe
Thunderclap Newman: Something in the Air
Queen: Look Back In Anger
The Aliens: The Interpreter
Motorhead: Ace of spades
The Meatmen: Mission:Impossible
The Dickies: You Drive Me Ape (You Big Gorilla)
New York Dolls: Trash
Jerry McCain: Next Door Neighbour
Wanda Jackson: Whole Lotta Shakin’ Going On
Buddy Holly : Oh Boy
Buddy Holly: Ting-A-Ling
Gene Vincent & The Bluecaps: Red Blue Jeans and a Pony Tail
Cliffie Stone: Jump Rope Boogie
Peck Rowell: Take It Easy Greasy
Bob Dylan: Positively 4th St.
The Fugs: I Saw The Best Minds Of My Generation Rock
The Vibrators: Baby Baby
The Ramones: Carbona Not Glue
The Jam: The Modern World
The Buzzcocks: Orgasm Addict
The Three O’Clock: Jet Fighter
Thavius Beck: (Music Will Be) The Death Of Us All
Billy Thorpe: Children Of The Sun
The Beatles: All You Need Is Love
