M is for Myg

Yes folks, it’s time for another edition of Portraits of SL Assholes! And…who do we have today?

Why, it’s Camper Van Asshat!

And, what makes him an Asshole worthy of Portraits? This dickhead belongs to a special cohort of SL assholes known as “campers.” We have a whole story on berating campers in Topgol this morning, just below the fold.

“God damn it’s laggy in Topgol today.” Alex complained. I logged in and we decided that maybe it could have something to do with our new neighbor, the 12 Monkeys Casino my bad, according to the sign it’s the Twelve 12 Casino Monkey. And sure enough, this is what we found.

Fucking campers. Tons of them!

There were newbie campers, not so newbie campers. All in a row like pixel automatons doing nothing but creating lag, causing Topgol to suck. Yet the situation bears asking the question, who is the BIGGER asshole?

1. The stupid campers who come to a rockin’ sim like Topgol, place their avies in a stupid camping chair and then go jerk off in the bathroom while their pixelated representative sucks the vibrancy out of an online community?
2. Or the ASSHOLE who buys property in a cool community like Little Philadelphia and then fucks it up by putting in a ton of camping chairs, obviously not giving a rats testicle about causing lag and other unpleasantness in a place plenty of people call home?

I know personally, I am far more pissed off at the owner, Giant Self-centered Asshole #2. That’s just no way to do business in a community. But he wasn’t around, and the assholes who camp need to be taught a lesson too, I feel. So I decided to play teacher.

I jumped up onto the row of slots and just started to berate the absent motherfuckers. I think Alex thought I’d lost my mind, but then I got on a roll, and I think he must have been inspired because he jumped into the act too.

And the chorus went a little like this:

You: Congratulations! You’ve all made portraits of SL Assholes for lagging my home!
SLP Bonus Camping Chair 1.2 (1): Casiopeia Voom cashing out for L$15
kranovich Vuckovic: but this place is marked in my maps
You: so what?
You: camping chairs fucking blow
You: they cause lag
You: they fuck up the sim
You: this is a cool place to hang out
You: but now people can barely fucking walk
You: if you spent a lot of time here you’d feel the same way
You: can’t you all just get real jobs and buy some fucking Lindens like civilized people?
You: huh?
You: or be productive and make something and sell it?
You: i mean what a fucking waste of time this is
You: AND it’s lagging my home
You: god damn it
You: why don’t you go lag some lame fucking sim like phat cat’s
You: This is Philly people!
You: There’s a lot of cool stuff to see and do here
Alexander Burgess: ooh! goosey, you won $.00001 US
You: and you’re RUINGING IT
You: RUINING
Alexander Burgess laughs
You: Think of the children!
Alexander Burgess: you have a hard time talking when you get mad Myg
You: Think of the people who fucking work so hard to make this place cool
Alexander Burgess: you’re not appealing to their “better” natures, are you?
You: They’re all fucking reading porn on the net somewhere anyway
Alexander Burgess: these people are all self-centered leeches
You: Nobody cares
You: *sob*
You: WAKE UP PEOPLE!
You: you’re being exploited by the MAN
Alexander Burgess: why dont you all go escort? You can at least make some cash like that
You: Yeah!
You: Be hookers!
You: MUCH more lucrative
You: you can go to the Fitzgerald up the street
You: tons of customers!
Alexander Burgess: now that’s a great spot–excelent SEX hotel, noobs
You: At least make your lagged out presence add some value to the sim
You: you’re all electronic WASTE, that’s what the fuck you are!
You: boo, hiss, boo
You: don’t camp!
Alexander Burgess: pixel crud
You: it’s lame!
You: it sucks!
You: it makes it so I can’t move in my home!
You: CAMPING IS FOR LEECHES!
You: it causes lag!
You: it fucks up our sim
Alexander Burgess: and you’re not really making any money!
You: look at this idiot - sat here for fucking how long to make 98 L?
Alexander Burgess: you’re probably not even at your computer
You: you don’t have anything better to do than fuck up the sim for the rest of us?
You: for a pittance?
You: FOR SHAME!
You: GO GET REAL JOBS!
You: Log off and do something productive with your god damned time
You: save valuable resources and shut down your fucking computers if you’re not using them!
You: you’re lagging my home, ingrates!
kranovich Vuckovic: haha youre right..i have no fuckin dollar…in 2 days..and this suckers a full time rolling on this shit
You: if you want to hang out here then get up and walk around and enjoy the sim
You: add something
You: all you do is take, take take

My god how I missed Gala then. I always miss her since she hasn’t been in Philly all that much, but when it comes to situations like these, nobody is better at verbal abuse or creative shaming. We would have had a fucking ball, except for the fact that we could barely move.

Fucking camping ASSHOLES!

See, I’m still so pissed I had to stress “assholes” with both caps and italics. Sheesh.

I talked to Romana last night, asked her how she felt about the casino. She, of course, was much more open and forgiving. “Bringing people in to walk around the sim makes it more alive - it’s better.”

And she’s right, of course. But what I saw this morning was none of that. I saw somebody placing a resource sucking piece of shit up in a vibrant community, causing all of us to suffer. And I want one of two things.

1. The 12 Monkeys Twelve 12 Casino Monkey stays but axes the fucking camping chairs. (What, can’t you get any REAL business?) Honestly, the build is fine and I appreciate the fact that it blends well with the Philly theme. At first I was sort of looking forward to having it there. But this camping bullshit has to go. It’s either that…or:
2. The 12 Monkeys Twelve 12 Casino Monkey can bite me and get the fuck out of Topgol.

And that is truly how I feel.

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 21st, 2007 at 12:21 pm and is filed under Fight for Topgol, Portraits of SL Assholes, Second Life.