M is for Myg

And here we are folks, with another post extolling the good things in Second Life. Today we have social stuff.

Even the most reclusive of folk tend to need other folk from time to time. I think it’s just our nature. But if you think about the way culture has evolved, once you’re out of school, the places to be social kind of dwindle down.  Let’s take a short inventory, shall we?

First there’s the bar scene. Yuck, that’s what I say. Drunken slobs with bad breath leaning in way too close? No fanks!  Then there’s the club scene, meaning music is involved. I spent plenty o years in the live music club scene, and that’s a lot better in my mind, but not totally ideal if you actually want to get to know people. It’s usually loud and hard to really talk, meaning you have to do the coffee thing after you spot the hottie. That’s okay, but sometimes you just want to meet folks in a platonic sort of way. Some people go to church - I definitely am not one of them.

So that leaves work. Now for me, when I’m not working I don’t really want to think about work. I tend not to ever hang out with work type people for that very reason, even though many of them are perfectly nice. Also, I have this professional demeanor which is a bit more, shall we say, professional, than my inner Myg demeanor. I’m not so sure I want my professional contacts to be all that closely acquainted with my inner mygness.

So then enter Second Life. Now hey, SL is not a replacement for honest-to-god go out to a party and chat with people in the flesh, share a meal or go to a movie kind of socialization. It really isn’t. It is, however, a nice complement to it. And there’s no telling whether your Second Life friends couldn’t someday meet you in the Bahamas for a long weekend of snorkeling, or whether someday you get invited to their RL wedding. Why? Because Second Life allows for a certain kind of intimacy that isn’t necessarily reliant on in-person contact. It won’t ever be a replacement for that, but it definitely can be a stepping stone to it. And even without RL meetings, your Second Life friends can and do become a very real part of your social network and perhaps even your support system.

Come to think of it, there are things I’ve told my SL friends that I’ve yet to tell some of my closest RL friends. Something about not seeing the expression on their faces, the non-verbal communication cues which are critical in anyone’s social skills repertoire, and not showing yours, I think makes it easier to talk about really difficult stuff. And I don’t think that’s bad. You know what it is? It’s simpler. And sometimes tough conversations need simplicity and the space that SL affords one in figuring out how to respond. Again, it’s not better than in-person talks. It’s just less intense, less complicated (and ultimately less rewarding, but not without it’s own value.)

I also think for people who tend to be very inhibited or shy in RL, Second Life can be extremely liberating for the very same reasons. It can allow you to take social risks you never would and it can embolden you in your RL if that’s what you want or need. It’s even done some of this for me, and um, I’m not the shy type. In case you hadn’t picked that up yet.

So hooray for Second Life for expanding my social network in ways I never actually imagined it could. It is true that my SL friends pop up in my mind sometimes as often as my RL friends. They are as real to me as anyone I’ve ever met, though no doubt meeting them in person would substantially alter my perception of who they are.  Even so, I highly doubt it would alter my affection other than to make it stronger.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 12th, 2008 at 1:51 pm and is filed under SL is good for, Second Life.