The sedge has wither’d from the lake
Posted by Esteban
Dear Myg,
You know I know how it feels. How does it work? We want one thing; we do another. Who’s in charge? Who’s the commanding officer here? I remember when I quit smoking: there was one in my hand again, even though I had told myself no.
I told myself no. Funny that that even makes sense. Why would the I need to tell the self? Isn’t it supposed to be the self in the first place? I told myself no, but my self did it anyway.
The usual story is this: the self does it anyway because the self lives in a fantasy world — or wants so much to live in a fantasy world it acts as if the fantasy were real. When my mother died, my father took us back to Ireland and turned to the drink. My great-grandmother made him dandelion tea for his nerves. On May Day, she scattered primrose petals on the stoop and smiled at me sideways. “So the fairies leave the cows alone,” she said. Some flowers were not allowed in the house and she cured the dog’s limp with comfrey and vinegar. One night my father fell into a ditch on the Shangarry Road and was attacked by a swan — a pen defending her chicks. After that night, he never swallowed a drop.
But what if it were the other way ’round? What if the self’s drive for addiction were its way not of striving for fantasy but of holding up a mirror to Real Life? Everywhere we look, the world tells us to surrender to addiction. Television. Sex. Money. Youth. In Real Life, addiction is what it means to be alive. It follows — doesn’t it? — that Second Life is where we keep addiction at bay. Of course these things are tricky, and sometimes with what’s Real and what’s Second, we may lose track of the wisdom to know the difference.
When in doubt, I look for the ditch with a swan in it.
Love,
Esteban
Funk me, it’s Friday! | 29 February 2008: play or right-click here to download.
Set list:
Wild Cherry: I Feel Sanctified
Brothers Johnson: Get The Funk Out My Face
The Isley Brothers: It’s Your Thing
Room 5 Featuring Oliver Cheatham: Make Luv (Extended Mix)
Prince: Kiss
Tom Tom Club: Genius Of Love
Fred Wesley & The J.B.’s: J.B. Shout
The Unemployed: They Won’t Let Me
Calypso King & The Soul Investigators: Raw Grapes
Chambers Brothers: Funky
Voices of East Harlem: For What It’s Worth
Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings: How Long Do I Have To Wait For You? (Ticklah Remix)
Stevie Wonder: Maybe Your Baby
Aretha Franklin: Groovin’
Funk me, it’s Friday! | 7 March 2008: play or right-click here to download.
Set list:
Earl Van Dyke & the Soul Brothers: The Flick Part I
Earl Van Dyke & the Soul Brothers: The Flick Part II
The Delegates: Pigmy Part 1
The Delegates: Pigmy Part 2
James Brown: Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag [Parts I and II] [instrumental]
James Brown: I’m a Greedy Man (Parts 1 & 2)
The J.B.’s: The Grunt (Parts 1 & 2)
Rufus Thomas: The Breakdown (Part I)
Rufus Thomas: The Breakdown (Part II)
Bobby Franklin’s Insanity: Bring It On Down to Me – Pt I
Bobby Franklin’s Insanity: Bring It On Down to Me – Pt II
Vicki Anderson: The Message from the Soul Sisters (Parts 1 & 2)
Isley Brothers: That Lady (Parts 1 & 2)
Billy Preston: Greazee Part I & II
Lou Donaldson: Funky Mama [Parts 1 & 2]
Don Covay and the Goodtimers: Can’t Stay Away
My dear Esteban,
Thanks for your nice note and the funky podcasts. It gave me a bit to contemplate.
They say that self-determination is a myth. They tell us that when we consciously decide to move a muscle in our hand, our brain has already determined that the hand will move, without our deciding. Our recognition of having made a decision is a farce. Rather we are duped into believing we’ve decided to move the hand, when the hand was going to move all along. They say they don’t know who does the deciding now. That perhaps the decisions were made long ago. Maybe even before time.
But I don’t believe them.
Love,
Myg
this post and response are perfect poetry as they stand, however, esteban, i know comments are like virtual hugs so here is yours.
When I talk to myself, who talks and who listens?
That faith in the unitary, constant, immortal (though we know better) self, now that’s the big addiction of the atomic world.
Threaten that, and you see the blind flaily panic of the A/S/L crowd – yes, we’ll take your soma away if you stay here. You might turn gay, or furry, or into three people – and do you think they’d like each other?
Thank you, my dear prophet of the deep truth -
@ myg, chestnut, & Sophrosyne: thanks for the comments, comrades!
“…addiction is what it means to be alive…”
Oh yes! Thanks for another great post.