M is for Myg

Live your god damned dream

Last Christmas Alone

Posted by myg

Last Christmas Alone

I wish this scene could be taking place in my real life, but the truth is this Christmas I’ll either be confined to my bed or if I’m unlucky, confined to a hospital bed. If I’m very unlucky, well I don’t want to consider that possibility out loud so I’m not going to.

I don’t want to complain about it, even though I sometimes do. I am really happy to be pregnant, especially with twins. I secretly always hoped for twins and feel super extra lucky like it’s a wish come true. But it does mean that pregnancy is a bit more complicated for me, but not as complicated as it could be so I’m just glad for that.

Now back to Christmas. I don’t know if we’ll even do a tree this year, which sort of breaks my heart but then if I can’t be downstairs to really look at it what’s the point? I’ve got a nice poinsettia on my dresser right now at least.

We won’t be going anywhere, like every mad Christmas since we met. Normally it’s to my father’s house for a big Christmas eve party, to Alex’s family for Christmas morning and then a 5 hour drive to my mom’s for Christmas dinner, followed by several days of hanging out on her super excellent farm. If it snows, which it rarely does, the scene from the back window would look like this:

Mom's barn in winter

Yes, that’s my RL mom’s place in VA, and yes, it really is all that. But I didn’t grow up there. I had the great luck to grow up in a shitty suburban ranch in central NJ, which was better than it sounds – retrospectively. Think free, public education good enough to get you into an ivy league university and perfect pizza in every strip mall (no Papa Johns or Pizza Hut or Dominoes for chrissakes).

Mom and my stepdad moved after I was out on my own, back when there was a real estate market bangin’ enough to yield such things as a kick ass country place complete with quintessential red barn (Mom’s a realtor). Now they’re just hanging onto what they’ve got, like the rest of us.

But I digress. That’s okay, it’s my blog and I’m still feeling a little crappy today.

Ah, Christmas.

This will be our last holiday without the twinkies, and it will be unusually quiet and non-event-filled for us. I wish we could do something romantic or spontaneous or even just normal with the awareness of an impending huge life changing event. But as it is, we’ll be home alone thinking such thoughts and spooning leftovers in front of Firefly re-runs.

Actually that doesn’t sound half bad.

Hope your holiday plans are shaping up just how you like, whether it’s a low-keyed day filled with television Christmas specials (or the fireplace channel!) or family/friend filled madness involving trekking all over the country.

Have a happy.

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