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(n)eXt Podcast and keTchUp’s kitchen table rant

Clockwork is for lovers

This is a two hour set and I probably should have broken it up into a couple of sections, but oh well. It should stream fine, and if you’re downloading, I hope your connection is fast and smooth. Some weeks, there is just so much I want to get out because there is that much great new music—and I know there’s a terabyte of even fresher sounds coming down the tubes.

If you like what you hear, please buy some music to help support the artists. I think our entire system of “support” for the arts is fucked, but until some unlikely sweeping changes occur, I am a staunch centrist on the music downloading issue. What this means—and this is by no means a legal argument–is that I think the record companies and artists should stfu and not prosecute people who download music even though they have legal standing. It’s just smart business in the long run. In return, people who listen to music should realize that they are participating in a cultural community and whether or not they also make music themselves, they need to do things to support that community. Really support it. This means if you download even one song for free, I believe you should be putting a lot more than the $0.99 iTunes or $0.33 eMusic value back into the community. How do you do that?

1. Buy some music. Duh. Get an eMusic subscription. Support Bleep. Support CD Baby and AmpCamp. Support your local mom and pop store—those people are music geeks just like the rest of us and they run those places because of love and obsession, not to maximize profits for shareholders.

2. Go see live music, especially small venues. Buy music and t-shirts directly from the bands, even if they were mediocre. Doing this keeps them in peanut butter and socks.

3. Tell all your friends about the great bands you discover.

4. Lather, rinse, repeat.

If you download more than one song, you should think about supporting the music and arts community in the following ways: Booking bands to play local venues (your party at your mom’s house, rent the American Legion Hall, help bring good bands to the local dive bar); when small touring acts come through town, make sure they have a place to sleep (your apartment floor is way better than the van, and partying with the band rules); or start an indie label, a promotions company, or write a music blog—do anything that churns the butter and gets people excited. If you do these things, you’re putting back just a bit of what you owe.

What does this mean for Second Life? Same thing. Do it all in both places. No slacking, we’re all in this together and life is better with art.

Here’s Monday’s set. Click the arrow to stream or right click and “save link as” to download:

(n)eXt podcast from 7 January 2008 (Please pardon the glitch in the first few seconds, argh!)

This week we rocked out to:

Aidan John Moffat – Nothing in Common/Hopelessly Devoted
Caribou – Irene
Maps – Stay Another Day
Rogue Wave – Chicago X 12
Illinois – One on One
Artiste Inconnu – Piste 9
The Bell – Do You Know How to Feel
Shout Out Louds – You are Dreaming
Klaxons – Golden Skans
Bishop Allen – Rain
Tall Firs – Hairdo
Modest Mouse – Dashboard
The Editors – The Racing Rats
Maybe Smith – Open War
British Sea Power – Waving Flags
The New Pornographers – All the Things That Go to Make Heaven and Earth
Charlotte Hatherly – Very Young
The Wombats – Backfire at the Disco
The Fiery Furnaces – Ex-Guru
The Who – Baba O’Riley (RAC Edit)
Calvin Harris – Acceptable in the 80s
Animal Collective – For Reverend Green
Siobhan Donaghy – Ghosts
Burial – Ghost Hardware
Studio – West Side
Block Party vs. The Cure – A Forest Prayer
One Republic vs. Bronski Beat – Small Town Apology
Sally Shapiro – He Keeps Me Alive
Ween – Your Party
Simian Mobile Disco – 3 Pin Dip
Kutiman – Bango Fields


Hulk Diary

Hulk make diary for friends.

Hulk not puny Esteban Moody. Puny Esteban Moody turned into Hulk by puny human Burgess set off nuclear bomb radiation.

Puny Esteban Moody think too much, confuse Hulk with hard posts to read on blog M is for Myg.

Hulk still have big wound. Hulk not know why. Hulk supposed to regenerate. Hulk want answer!

Hulk like purple. Purple Hulk favorite!

Hulk like: DJ and dance at Clockwork! All puny human friends there. Hulk take lots of pictures! Also friends cranach and Burgess take pictures too! Also new friend Gragoyle who is metal rat or dog. Hulk not know.

Funk Hulk favorite! Hulk play only best funk. Hulk play hip-hop and disco too, if funky! Everyone like Hulk play music and dance. Hulk say w00t! w00t!

What else Hulk say? Hulk want all kids stay in school and eat vegetables, grow strong like Hulk. Hulk no eat meat. Hulk say meat murder.

Hulk post podcast! Funky Belly! Jackson 5! JAMES BROWN! Hulk friends listen at work, dance in cubicle!

funk for the masses | 7 January 2008: play or right-click here to download.

Set list:

Detroit Emeralds: You Want It, You Got It
Warren Lee: Funky Belly
Porgy Jones: Catch Joe Potato
Betty Davis: Anti Love Song
Chris Joss: Shellah V.
Gorillaz: Feel Good Inc (Single Edit)
Talking Heads: Uh-Oh, Love Comes to Town
Jackson 5: I Want You Back
Cerrone: Love In C Minor
MF Doom: Vinca Rosea (Volume 9)
Glass Candy: Beatific
H2 So4: Over You
KANOPUS: Time Heals
James Brown: Don’t Tell A Lie About Me and I Won’t Tell The Truth About You
Bill Withers: Harlem
Billy Vera & Judy Clay: Do Right Woman – Do Right Man


The Wax Museum

What did you imagine you would see at the apocalypse? Certainly not me, I’d guess. Maybe the bird flu or something with seven heads? “Knowledge shall be increased.”

Remember that dream where you’re in the old house and you look out the kitchen window? You’d forgotten the horse in the barn! Did that really happen? It was so long ago. Your father said to take care of her. Has she starved to death? How could you have forgotten? Slowly you approach the painted door.

Write on a scroll what you see and send it to the seven churches: to Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia and Laodicea.

I am already in the time after time. I am looking back — or out or inside or whatever it is. I am already the horse in the barn, and I want you to know that I am all right. My coat is dappled. My teeth are clean and strong. Take a breath. You were just a child, and others took care of me. That was their job.

There was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour.

Smell my coat. Check my ears. There’s nothing to forgive.


funk for the masses | 26 November 2007: play or right-click here to download.

funk for the masses | 12 November 2007: play or right-click here to download.

Set list | 26 November:

El Michels Affair: Too Late To Turn Back
Labi Siffre: I Got the…
Common: I Have A Dream
Arrested Development: Tennessee
Ohmega Watts: What’s It Worth
Indeep: Last Night a DJ Saved My Life
Donna Summer: Hot Stuff
The Bamboos: Voodoo Doll
MF Doom: Agrimony
Eric B. & Rakim: Keep The Beat
Lefties Soul Connection: Freaky Frankie
Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings: Be Easy
Billy Preston: Slippin’ And Slidin’
Cibo Matto: Sugar Water
Blue Scholars: Back Home

Set list | 12 November:

The Dansettes: Oh My!
Marilyn Barbarin: Reborn
Nicole Willis & The Soul Investigators: Keep Reachin’ Up
Ridillo: Mangio Amore
BarKays: Shake Your Rump to the Funk
Kinky: Una Linea De Luz
The Harlem Experiment: One For Jackie (192)
Average White Band: School Boy Crush
Dave Baby Cortez: I Turned You On
The J.B.’s: Gimme Some More
Jimmy Brown: Chain of Fools
Shawn Lee’s Ping Pong Orchestra: Rehab
Brown Brothers of Soul: Cholo
Georgie Fame: El Bandido
Jimmy McGriff: Fat Cakes
A.D.C. Band: That’s Life
Orgone: Who Knows Who?
Anna King: If Somebody Told You


Winter in Topgol

Ice-skating in Topgol Park.


From time to time I remember. Back when we were human, we lived on Earth. That’s really what we called it. Why not just call it “Dirt”? All our energy came from a star. Most of us lived in Asia. After my mother died, my father took me to live in Kuala Lumpur, where for a while he fell in love with a translator. She was a Buddhist, her parents Chinese. In an effort to bond with me, she took me to the Tambun Caves, but I was a child, too young to appreciate some scratching on a wall. Could you go back in time? How would you fight the dinosaurs? I wanted to go back to Dublin for Christmas and eat chocolates. Are these memories mine? We’re not as distinct as we used to be, are we? Maybe it was me scratching on that wall? My hands were hairy. I made a tapir. Was I the translator? My Teochew is rusty, but at least I could ask Grandmother how her day was. I fell in love with an Irishman, but he saw his dead wife’s eyes in the glance of his odd son. A Spanish name. He looked like a little girl and was sadly wise beyond his years. If I make a tapir, the tapir-spirit takes me and I can hide among the rocks.

Funk for the Masses tonight and every Monday night from 8-9 SLT at Clockwork!

Last week’s set was choice:

funk for the masses | 5 November 2007: Right click here to download the podcast.

Set list:

Black Heat: Chip’s Funk
M. Ali & J. Tucker: Champs Jerk
Tribe Called Quest: Award Tour
De La Soul: Me Myself And I
Digital Underground: No Nose Job
Prince: Gett Off
The Ramrods: Soultrain
Bull & The Matadors: The Funky Judge
Hunt’s Determination: Rollerskate
Ming + FS: Hijack the Disco
Tosca: Worksong
The Groove Merchants: There´s Got To Be Someone For Me
Hank Ballard: How You Gonna Get Respect (When You Haven’t Cut Your Process Yet)
A.D.C. Band: Long Stroke
The Poets of Rhythm: Survival of the Freshest
Eddy Senay: Ain’t No Sunshine (instrumental)
Nina Simone: I Want A Little In My Bowl



I was talking to dandellion about economics. Money is another one of those things, like a smell, right? What is it again? Something that’s worth nothing that we all pretend is worth everything? Oh come on now! Digits speeding through a wire? Don’t stop believing! Remember that nightmare? A mountain falls into a hole. Sweet Jesus, why am I naked? This wasn’t here an hour ago!

That can’t be right. You need an alchemist to explain the transformations. A hundred bodies turn into Christmas ornaments. The ugly become beautiful, and the beautiful grotesque. I become a tree. A tree becomes a log. The log is shredded into bits. The pulp flows out like cream. I’m shipped in rolls, cut and bound. I look up at you from the best-seller table.

Everywhere, we’re turned into money, our thoughts slotting like coins into parking meters. Don’t confuse desire with demand. God damn the Lindens. Everyone else does the work — and then you tax them for it! Who built this house? Who lives here? ‘Tis “an enchanted, perverted, topsy-turvy world.”

Everyone knows that the opposite of money is art. Take it apart. It’s worth nothing if it’s free. I want nothing in return. Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

funk for the masses | 29 October 2007: play or right click here to download the podcast.

Set list:

The Pimps Of Joytime: PJT’s High Steppin
Earth’s Delight: Junkie’s Hustle
Earth, Wind & Fire: Mighty Mighty
Lil’ Lavair & The Fabulous Jades: Cold Heat
Stevie Wonder: Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing
The Isley Brothers: I Turned You On
Black Street feat. Dr. Dre: No Diggity
Big Audio Dynamite: Rush
Basement Jaxx: Do Your Thing
Bastian: Sturdy
Simian Mobile Disco: Hustler
CSS: Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex
David Bowie: Fame
Average White Band: Person to Person
Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings: Nobody’s Baby
Cheryl Barnes: Easy to Be Hard


Mothership Connection

Don’t forget to make the mothership connection tonight at Topgol’s emporium of funk. I mean Clockwork. DJ keTchUp does his thing from 6-8. Then shake your bootay to the true funk from 8-9. If you’re lucky, Axiom will show in her fearsome steampunk flagship!

Get yourself in the mood by listening to these delicious podcasts!

funk for the masses | 15 October 2007: Right click here to download the podcast.

funk for the masses | 22 October 2007: Right click here to download the podcast.

Set lists after the break.

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Do the Funky Clockwork

You don’t know how right you are. We need prevention not treatment. The supermarket shelves are empty. A crow picks at dead flesh. The sun comes up once an hour. The living seem dead and the dead living.

What is clockwork? “a mechanical device whose functioning relies on internal clockwork, especially where muscular effort is the sole source of operating power.” Translation: shake your booty tonight at Clockwork and feel the motion spin the universe back into its endless joy. You are the primum mobile, the source of all power. Suddenly, the flowers bloom. Suddenly, the sky is bright again with stars. Suddenly, the dead return to their graves and the living spring to life. Where the supermarket once spread its concrete apron now a forest grows, thick with hungry beasts.

Doors open at 6 and close at 9 SLT.

You missed the podcasts?

Popcorn for JellyBean | 1 October 2007: or download it!

Funk for the Masses | 24 September 2007: or download it!

Funk for the Masses | 27 August 2007: or download it!

Set lists after the break.

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Nothing Human

I am exactly like you. I put my clothes in the dryer. I fly in airplanes. I take my goats to the market. I live in a house. I live in a mansion. I have nowhere to live.

My father was born in Jakarta, or Dakar, or Dubuque. My mother died recently. She will come to visit this afternoon. She left when I was young. My skin is dark. I am a little boy. I am transgendered. I will send a letter to my grandchildren in the morning.

I am just like you. I am reading this, wondering what this is all about. I hug my rifle to my chest when the shells explode. I will buy a new wheelchair when the next check comes. Do you like my new Mercedes?

Then everything goes dark. Do you realize nothing will bring it back? Somewhere, on the head of a pin — you can see it with a microscope — tiffany clouds drift over the universe of Second Life. Can you hear it? Lean in closer. Yes you can! A tinny beat, almost imperceptible, the FUNK floating outward into your fleshly ears. Is this really happening? That shouldn’t be there. On a pin? Why am I looking at a pin? Am I hallucinating? You don’t feel well. Something tells you you are not here but there, down here, on that pin — on a pin? — a tiny green dot on a vast terrain suddenly shivering with that strange feeling that someone is looking over your shoulder.

funk for the masses | 20 Aug 2007: play: or download it!

Set list:

DJ Pfel: [solo routine]
Fedde Le Grand: Put Your Hands Up 4 Detroit 2007
Jeff Mills: Voltereta
DJ Colette: Feelin Hypnotized – Kaskade Mix
Daft Punk: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
Marxman: All About Eve
Was (Not Was): Maria Novarro
Outkast: Dracula’s Wedding
Billy Preston: Outa-Space
Eddie Bo: Hook and Sling
Liqdzunshine: Hip Hop
Hocus Pocus feat. the Procussions: Hip Hop
Beastie Boys: B for My Name
Ultramagnetic MC’s: Ya Not That Large
Equals: Police On My Back
Sneaker Pimps: 6 Underground


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