M is for Myg

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Quick encounter story & dj kEtchUp at it again, 6pm SLT

typical asshole

Real quick. The other day I was digging in my inventory to look for proper attire for Codebastard’s latex party last weekend. I confess, it’d been awhile since I’d broken out the latex and I wasn’t at all sure of what look to go for. So I cobbled together my clear latex underthings for that shiny just greased pig look, and wore black pants from an old BareRose outfit I had from long ago, complete with holes in the leg and thigh, revealing spots of my shiny ass, topped with a black shiny patent leather halter top. To complete the look, I wore my bruiser skin from Civvies, which comes complete with black eye and massive scrapes and burns on the torso, fully visible. Sorry I didn’t take a photo – it was a really priceless look. With that, I wanted to shop a little bit before the party and said to Alex, “Let’s go and see how long it takes for some noob asshole to hit on me.”

Guess how long it took?

Not very. The minute I landed at the first stop, this dude in the picture above starts chatting me up. I am really losing my touch too, because I didn’t take any photos,  and I didn’t deliver any Myg style smack down. I was just kind of – bored. It was like too predictable or something. Alex tp’d in and tried using various orbiters on the guy, but none worked. It was really a little depressing.  As the guy started talking about how he doesn’t have enough L to buy a penis, I just tp’d away. Sad story, huh? Sorry – I said I had to get back into the swing of things here.

In any case, please do come on out to Clockwork tonight to hear AlexB (aka dj kEtchUp) spin all your new favorites you’ve never heard before, and some old ones too. 6pm SLT!

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Portraits of SL Assholes, Noob Edition


Welcome back folks, to another edition of Portraits of SL Assholes, wherein we try to convey the finer points of SL etiquette by pointing out the assholish behaviors of those we encounter on the grid.

Today we have Noob with Gun Asshole, a fairly typical kind of asshole in Second Life. What happened here is that I had an errand to run in Toxia, and it was laggy as hell (as it often is because it’s a damned popular place). I was waiting for shit to rezz, when BAM! I get knocked clear across the fucking room. Well, I don’t like this. So I said something to the effect of,

“Hey dickhead!”

The dude looked rather stunned – as you find him here. He didn’t respond, so I IM’d him. I asked him if it was an accident. He said it was, that in fact, he is new and he did not know his big bad gun was loaded and I hadn’t rezzed yet so he didn’t see me until after he shot me. Lucky shot, eh? A fine story, it was.

He asked me what the place was, and I explained Toxia as I understand it. First you role play, THEN you shoot people.

“I’m going in,” he said.

I told him to put the gun away or he’d be banned faster than a protester at a skin theft. He did put the gun away, which means he’s not quite as big an asshole as many noobs of this variety. Even so, I’m sure he was banned in under 5 minutes.

And the moral of this story is, newbie or not, don’t walk around with your big naked gun exposed, pulling the trigger randomly in crowded places. Because I happened to be packin’ and could have easily oribited the entire sim (accidentally of course) with my Sinistars. And that wouldn’t have been pretty.

Luckily, I wasn’t banned. Another five minutes talking to that dude and it would have happened, trust me.

Blogged with Flock

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Not my god damned day, Portraits of SL Assholes – it’s raining assholes edition

My god, two portraits in one day? Better go back on vacation or something. This asshole hit me the same day as the asshole event happened that I posted to MGG2SL. Now I remember why I used to blog so much!

See, I was on as Myg Morrisey and I was freebie hunting. I’ve now decided that there’s few better ways to run into assholes than freebie hunting, (though weapons buying is the no-fail method).

This asshole I met is nearly the worst kind of asshole I know. He’s the little boy bully.

What happened was this. Dumbass dropped on my head as I was looking for free boots. As you may or may not know, decent free footwear is extremely hard to come by, but that’s not the point.

SL Asshole of the Year

So, the dude dropped in on top of me, as sometimes happens, at a teleport site. No problem. However, dude had his little pixel dick attached as he landed on me. Accidents happen, you know. But then he turned around, and stuck the pixels in my face and said, “Hi.” That I didn’t like so much. The rest went a little like this:

[22:02] Asshole: hi
[22:02] You: your dick is in my face asshole
[22:02] Asshole: I beg your pardon
[22:02] Asshole: it was not intentional
[22:02] You: well that’s a good god damned thing
[22:03] Asshole: take the attitude and shove it woman…I apologized
[22:03] You: kiss my ass
[22:03] Asshole: you don’t really have one girl
[22:03] You: pfft
[22:03] Asshole: take your rl attitude where it belongs
[22:04] You: fuck off

Then, without further notice, he ORBITED ME.  I know, I know.  I was verbally aggressive. But he was clearly a horndog, and it was late and I’ll tell you what. It was really quite obvious from the moment he dropped on my head that the dude was all manner of disrespect. He stayed right on top of me as he gave his lil’ lowercase “hi” with his pixel dick right in my face (Myg Morrisey is short and the dude is SL 9 feet tall).  Then, he’d walked away from me but had to make a beeline back to tell me to “shove it.” Because don’t you know, Dumbass apologized and therefore my grumbling was out of line, right? And he was determined to put me in my place, apparently.

What a motherfucker.

As I soared aloft, high above the sim, I verbally harassed him for a few more minutes in IM but the weak minded brute muted me. Or so he thought. Because you can mute me in SL, but you sure as hell can’t mute me at M is for Myg.

Asshole.

Eds. note: Asshole really does belong to Bukkake Bliss and a number of other horndog groups, which is perfectly fine, but still, no reason to walk around putting your goods in a girl’s face. Also, that is the dude’s profile pic, since that whole orbiting thing caught me off guard and I missed the photo op. Boy did THAT piss me off.  Photo altered to protect the identity of the asshole. Why, I don’t know.

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Gunman Injures Two in Philadephia Shooting

Before you hear this week’s podcast, you need to know about what happened Friday:

A disturbing incident occurred in downtown Philadelphia last week when an unidentified gunman injured two of Topgol’s chief architects.

“I was building and he landed next to me with a gun and said ‘Hi,'” said Sable Slade. “I said Hi back. He said something about a house in the sky, about a friend shooting him, sending him up in the air. He was leaving when Diane showed up. He flew away…and she got shot — and there was another bomb behind her…”

Little Philly resident Esteban Moody, who arrived on the scene shortly after the shooting, described the gunman as “a kind of trenchcoat mafia furry with a pirate mask and a shotgun.” Moody also recalled that the assailant had a “big-ass raccoon tail.”

“It was a landmine,” reported shooting victim Diane Zinner, “and then the bombers came! Sable and i had to duck fast…we were running, bullets flying everywhere! Sable took one in the leg, and I helped her into a building…the landmine didn’t go off…there was fire and smoke – and that’s when he shot me. He shot me in the back. I was in bad shape. Sable should be up for the silver star — valor in combat, right? — she pulled me through.”

The three locals then followed the shooter to a distant hideout.

“The dude was incoherent,” said Moody. “At first he says he’s a hitperson or somenthing — at least that’s what I think he was saying — but then he starts apologizing, like it was all some mistake — Diane was just an innocent bystander. Apparently, he’s part of a secret ritual society that worships a giant Mexican ferrett.”

Local police are continuing the investigation.

The good news is that both Sable and Diane were recovered enough by Monday night to shake their booties along with the rest of Topgol! Did you miss it? Do you want it again? Funkify your life by hitting the “play” button or downloading the podcast.

Thanks as always to everyone who came out! More pictures here.

funk for the masses | 13 Aug 2007: podcast.

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Set list:

Nortec Collective: Funky Tamazula
The J.B.’s: Givin’ Up Food For Funk (Part 1)
Royal Rock: Can’t Fade The Funk
Kool & the Gang: Funky Stuff
MC Solaar: Funky Dreamer
Cameo: Funk Funk
The Meters: Funkify Your Life
Brand New Heavies: Put the Funk Back In It
Dayton Sidewinders: Funky in Here
My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult: Do You Wanna Get Funky With Me
James Brown: Funky Side of Town
Calypso King & The Soul Investigators: Gator Funk Pt. 1
Tower Of Power: You Got To Funkifize
Parliament: Give Up The Funk
Arthur Conley: Funky Street
James Brown: Every Beat of my Heart

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Portraits of SL Assholes, VI

portraits of SL assholes part V 1

These two jokers are sitting on a couple of prims because they are afraid. And why are they afraid? Well, probably because one of them, the lizard on the right, made the mistake of building a ridiculous glass monstrosity (below) immediately adjacent to the beautiful Trenton (SLurl) sim of my pal Johnny Skosh and co.

 

portraits of SL assholes part V 2

The drama report continues after the jump.
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Fight for Topgol–again!

Fight for Topgol with moves, people.

Kick-a-camper

I kicked this bastard in the head so hard he’ll have a migraine for a week, I promise. There’s more. Read more

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Portraits of SL Assholes, #5

Oh, a dainty little lady bunghole!

Portraits of SL A-holes, Ahole #5

Say hullo to Adelaide Asshole, a frequent camper at the shit ass casino in Topgol. I tried to explain to her why her presence in the camping chair was causing me and my neighbors aggravation, but she didn’t care. I told her we were a community of nice people, and her resource sucking wastoid existence in our sim was causing us problems, and I’m sorry but the bitch didn’t get it. Instead, she called me a whiner, a complainer, and – get this – a griefer!

Well, maybe I was ripping all those camping assholes new ones, but what the hell, we couldn’t move at all in the sim. What did I have to lose? A very lengthy chat with the casino owner proved completely useless. The guy doesn’t give a fuck, that’s for sure. And now Topgol is all laggy and crappy again. There’ve been some nights it’s so bad, none of us can hang out there at all. Nobody except, of course, the fucking campers.

It’s on now, people. The fight for Topgol.

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Portraits of SL Assholes #4

Yes folks, it’s time for another edition of Portraits of SL Assholes! And…who do we have today?

Camper Van Asshat

Why, it’s Camper Van Asshat!

And, what makes him an Asshole worthy of Portraits? This dickhead belongs to a special cohort of SL assholes known as “campers.” We have a whole story on berating campers in Topgol this morning, just below the fold.

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