M is for Myg

Live your god damned dream

Archive for the 'Real Life' Category

Dares to hope

Dares to hope

But not to watch.

For whatever reason, I can’t bear to watch the debates anymore. I just can’t.


What, no photo?

Rule Number 1: Never break your own rules.

Therefore on account of Rule Number 2, the “No post without a picture” rule here at M is for Myg, I’m going to reprimand myself harshly and will even write myself up. I can do that, I’m the boss here.

It has been a few weeks since my last post, and there’s no hiding the fact that my Second Life is in shambles.  To be completely honest, it’s not too far off from my first life.  I had the hope of a digital resurrection not long ago, but a series of things have sidetracked me. I have been popping my head into Plurk now and then, where I’m able to keep loose tabs on JellyBean and Hawks, Chestnut, dandellion, Crap, Xax, RosieCodie, and Vint. (And actually, Alex and Romana  have rather dead looking Plurk threads too, and even Sable had one but looks like hers has disappeared.) I don’t plurk with the best of them, but I do like to stick a toe in to say hey and snark here and there. I digress.

I will tell you that I’ve been obsessed with presidential electoral politics for a good long while, and given the current economic meltdown, I’ve only gotten more obsessive.  No creative work, no making stuff, no hanging out, no chatting, no listening to excellent tunes at Clockwork for me. It’s not healthy. I don’t recommend it, spending all your free time glued to the Daily Kos and The Rachel Maddow Show. (Yes, I’m a totally left, liberal progressive Democrat, but that’s not the point.)

And then there’s this other matter…

In a few short months things, meaning life, for me and Burgess will go completely insane. Insane in the best of possible ways, but insane nonetheless. I will try to be more in touch on that front, WITH pictures even.

I’ll just put it this way. Sometimes you want something so badly for so long, but you never think it will happen, so you prepare yourself to deal with that disappointment. But then what if it does happen? You realize that everything in the world, everything, you yourself even, changes. You stare dizzily over the edge of a black abyss that’s calling itself your future. You don’t know what to expect and how you feel isn’t exactly how you thought you’d feel. You don’t feel bad. But you do feel a bit stunned, a bit scared, a bit giddy, a bit, “well what the fuck?” Ready to leap into the dark gaping maw of the eternal unknown, death be damned.

It’s the circle of life, folks. Spinning, I’ve finally found where I am on it.




Waves hello! Bites nails nervously. Waves goodbye!

burgess moment

Did you know that in the world of flesh, he, Alex, has the fair skin and I, Myg, have the darker olive skin? Well it’s not all that dark but it is that mediterranean hue given me by my Hungarian/Italian heritage.

I’m sorry, it’s been awhile I know. My Second Life still in shambles, sort of. My online life scattered between too many blogs and too much time spent frittering away over US electoral politics.

I spend a good deal of my time here, which is why you don’t see me so much in Second Life these days. I’m finding out that I suck at multi-tasking.

I have been spending some time learning how to make t-shirts for Second Life. It’s not easy to do this when you’re not even in a small way talented in graphic art, so bear with me. I did make a Clockwork T to commemorate Alex’s new club opening. It’s got some glitches in it, but it’s wearable enough. IM me or Alex if you want a copy. It’s brown and orange. (I TOLD you I had no talent for graphic art, what do you want?)

So, what’s been going on folks?

1 comment

What the hell is “real” in Second Life?

Why do so many SL stores have information desks and cash registers that are almost always abandoned? I get the idea of trying to make the store feel like a “real” store. But then that’s the problem. If they’re trying to emulate the vibe of a “real” store, and there’s never anybody working there, then you feel like the store isn’t really open. And I don’t think that’s the feeling retailers want their shoppers to have, is it?

It makes me think about the trend of realism in Second Life, and about how silly it sort of is – at least from my perspective. For example, James/Hamlet Au had two pieces in New World Notes yesterday that talked about how “real” Second Life is or maybe could or perhaps should be. In one, he showed a lovely photo of a pregnant woman (or female av, at least) and her partner, and quoted the photographer as saying the inspiration is partly “to show how much SL can be real.”

SL can be real, but doesn’t it have it’s very own reality? And that reality doesn’t actually include things like pregnant women, which is reality borrowed from the world of skin and bones. New avies don’t pop out of female avies’ nether regions in SL. That’s a “make believe” playing house moment in SL, not a “real” moment. A real moment is when an asshole orbits you off your own property for fun, or when you bust a gut laughing at something Romana says while Alex is playing kick ass tuneage over the stream. At least, to me that’s SL “reality.” Pregnancy is not.

In the other, he asked “Would you give your avatar a more realistic shape?”  I for one have to say, “Hell no!” In fact, I should probably have a less realistic shape. Trust me people, my shape is a little too realistic these days in RL. I think that the trend of representing oneself as realistically as possible in SL is a bit lacking in imagination, to be honest. It seems to ignore vast opportunities for creativity and vision in the creation of our digital selves. (Sophrosyne Stenvaag delivers a helpful smackdown on this topic at her blog.) And by the way, I appreciate Hamlet’s posts – I’m not arguing with them. They were pretty thought provoking.

Now, I understand that some folks want to have plus-sized avatars, perhaps because they are working to towards through (sorry, the typo was making me insane. edited 8/11/08) their own feelings of acceptance about being overweight in real life, and/or maybe they are pushing an agenda to get others to drop their prejudice against people who are overweight. That’s cool, really. There’s a purpose there and it’s a damned good one.

But for me, the opportunity to create a digital self (and multiple digital selves, as I have more than one, and some are far less realistic than I normally am) in any form my imagination conjures, is the actual reality of Second Life. And I consider it one of the most important features Second Life has to offer.

You are you every day. Don’t you want a chance to be someone, well, different? In some way?


Meanwhile, back in Topgol


Just a shot from DJ keTchUp’s set at Clockwork last night. Here we’ve got the beguiling Romana Wei, mid groove. I took a bunch of shots, but to be honest my SL photography skills sucketh from lack of practice. I wanted to try to capture the crowd of folks who came out, and since my camera didn’t do the job I’ll do some shout outs: Sophrosyne, Galatea, Sable, Romana, JellyBean, Hawksrock, Akasha, Xaxoqual, Esteban, GoSpeed, Chestnut (who features much better photos of the night than I took), Zha, and damn, a few new faces whose names I am forgetting. Which is why I personally could never be mayor of Topgol.

Alex and I have been talking about what to do and where to go with our Second Lives. We’ve been pretty consumed in our real flesh begotten lives for awhile now, but we’ve missed our friends in SL a lot. We’d like to get the club up and running again, but for me it’s become real important that I don’t feel obligated to be there every night it’s open. My last few months in SL before I took a break all I did was host at the club. I enjoy it, but not when it’s all I do in SL. It burns you out like anything else done repetitively enough for no pay.

It’s interesting to contemplate these things from the standpoint of a long hiatus. When we first got into SL, it was all consuming for us. We were so riveted by the possibilities and the creative potential and the social aspects. We saw and still do see such enormous potential for Second Life. But now that we’re a little older and a bit busier, it’s a challenge to figure out where to fit it into the whole of our lives. It’s not easy to be a part timer in SL in some ways. I remember how easy it was to spend hours and hours and hours and hours and…well that can’t happen anymore.

What can happen in far less hours logged on a week? I guess that’s what we’ll be finding out. Stay tuned…


Back in the game

SSgt Myg

We’d just returned from our vacation and my head was splitting, but he bugged me and bugged me and bugged me and so I did it. I logged on. He was Alex, and he’d gotten the urge real bad. So in he went, and then a little while later, in I went too.

I was fumbling at the keyboard. Couldn’t type as fast as I once could. Couldn’t exactly remember my dance moves, nor how to find my favorite outfits in inventory. For once I didn’t bother to change clothes. I could barely maintain the assorted IMs and local chat that commanded more of my attention than I give to paying clients on my best days.

But then I like a challenge.

I can see a lot has changed since I was last on. I don’t think I’ve spent any kind of actual time in since the early or mid-spring. And I know I’m not the only one who’s been in digital crisis. All kinds of things have been up in the air. The Mean Girls  are finally packing it in. (And by the way, it seems I’ve been fired from the Mean Girls, though I only noticed it today when I went there and saw my name and link gone. But it’s just as well since, as I just mentioned, I only noticed I was ousted today, meaning I haven’t even been visiting the blog or anybody elses save this one once in awhile…) You can view the web in SL now, they tell me. Sable has a boyfriend! Romana has created a sex den with SL’s largest sex bed (link to follow). And you can make your lips move when you talk, if you know how. I mean, that’s some serious change.

But I think I’m ready.

Alex returns as DJ keTchUp this Thursday, you know where, at Clockwork. I think he said 6pm SL time, and yeah, I’ll be back with more and a reminder before then.

I’d throw you the SLURLs, but I forget how. Give me a few days, k?


A Letter to the Sun

Dear Sun,

Sometimes I think it strange that I continue to write to you — or even that we have corresponded at all. Here I am, a hermaphrodite DJ in Second Life, you, a giant ball of fire 93 million miles away. You are 4.5 billion years old, and the temperature at your core reaches 13 million degrees Kelvin. In the morning, your rays stream through the slats on my venetian blinds and illuminate the little constellation of dust floating above the glass of water on my bedside table.

I saw you yesterday — warm and bright in the afternoon sky. I can’t tell you how happy I was to see you. The winter here is gray and overcast. (Remember what I told you about the atmosphere here — all nitrogen and oxygen!!) Did you see me? I know you can barely make out my little speck of a home, but I jumped and waved anyway.

O Sun, here’s the reason for my writing: did you know that some days — today, for example, I have trouble going on? The simplest things seem a struggle — and thus of course they are a struggle. I feel like some hero of classical myth beset by enemies, confounded by obstacles — like Dorothy in the field of poppies, for example:

They now came upon more and more of the big scarlet poppies, and fewer and fewer of the other flowers; and soon they found themselves in the midst of a great meadow of poppies. Now it is well known that when there are many of these flowers together their odor is so powerful that anyone who breathes it falls asleep, and if the sleeper is not carried away from the scent of the flowers, he sleeps on and on forever. But Dorothy did not know this, nor could she get away from the bright red flowers that were everywhere about; so presently her eyes grew heavy and she felt she must sit down to rest and to sleep.

But the Tin Woodman would not let her do this.

“We must hurry and get back to the road of yellow brick before dark,” he said; and the Scarecrow agreed with him. So they kept walking until Dorothy could stand no longer. Her eyes closed in spite of herself and she forgot where she was and fell among the poppies, fast asleep.

“What shall we do?” asked the Tin Woodman.

“If we leave her here she will die,” said the Lion. “The smell of the flowers is killing us all. I myself can scarcely keep my eyes open, and the dog is asleep already.”

It was true; Toto had fallen down beside his little mistress. But the Scarecrow and the Tin Woodman, not being made of flesh, were not troubled by the scent of the flowers.

“Run fast,” said the Scarecrow to the Lion, “and get out of this deadly flower bed as soon as you can. We will bring the little girl with us, but if you should fall asleep you are too big to be carried.”

So the Lion aroused himself and bounded forward as fast as he could go. In a moment he was out of sight.

“Let us make a chair with our hands and carry her,” said the Scarecrow. So they picked up Toto and put the dog in Dorothy’s lap, and then they made a chair with their hands for the seat and their arms for the arms and carried the sleeping girl between them through the flowers.

The poppies are inside me, of course, a vast, lush and colorful field rooted deep in the soil of me. My internal Tin Woodman and Scarecrow are there too, most of the time, to carry the Dorothy of me through to the next clearing, but always the lion of me is left behind. He runs, but the flimsy poppies always get him.

Do you remember, Sun, how the lion is saved? The Tin Woodman saves the life of the queen of the field mice by beheading a wildcat — and so her squeaky little subjects, tens of thousands of them, express their gratitude by pulling the lion out of the field on a wagon that the Woodman fashions from nearby trees. Each of them brings a bit of string with which to make a rope.

O Sun, where are the field mice of me? Today, did my Tin Woodman miss and chop off his own head instead of the wildcat’s? (Do you remember that the Woodman beheaded himself once? It was the last of him, I think, to be chopped off and replaced with tin.) Without them, my lion slumbers on to death!

Sometimes, without the mice, a certain music will rouse the lion, for I am Esteban Moody, purveyor of the true funk. Praise the lion with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp! Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs! Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals!

But today the music is not working, so I write to ask your help. O Sun, help me to open the heavy lids of the cowardly beast! I know a piece of your great fire burns inside him. Will you make it burn bright and and hot enough to wake him? In the distance I can see the tall turrets of the Emerald City, but without my lion I am helpless.



Funk me, it’s Friday! | 14 March 2008: play or right-click here to download.
Set list:

The Deacons: Sock It To Me Part I
The Deacons: Sock It To Me Part II
G.R.I.T.S.: Jan Jan
Groove Armada: I See You Baby (Fatboy Slim Mix)
Run-D.M.C.: Sucker MC’s
Cookin On 3 Burners feat. Kylie Auldist: Settle The Score
James Brown: Hot (I Need To Be Loved, Loved, Loved, Loved)
Jackie Moore: Singing Funky Music Turns Me On
The Jaggerz: Born Poor
Ides of Time: K-Car for Sale
Bonnie Pointer: Free Me From My Freedom/Tie Me to a Tree (Handcuff Me)
Laura Lee: Women’s Love Rights
Georgie Fame: Beware of Dog
Jackie Mittoo: Ghetto Organ
The Lions: Givin Up Food For Jah
Johnny Hammond: It’s Too Late
Jackie Wilson: You Left the Fire Burning
The North Philadelphia Juniors: I Know Jesus Is Calling
Brenda Holloway: Every Little Bit Hurts


The sedge has wither’d from the lake

Dear Myg,

You know I know how it feels. How does it work? We want one thing; we do another. Who’s in charge? Who’s the commanding officer here? I remember when I quit smoking: there was one in my hand again, even though I had told myself no.

I told myself no. Funny that that even makes sense. Why would the I need to tell the self? Isn’t it supposed to be the self in the first place? I told myself no, but my self did it anyway.

The usual story is this: the self does it anyway because the self lives in a fantasy world — or wants so much to live in a fantasy world it acts as if the fantasy were real. When my mother died, my father took us back to Ireland and turned to the drink. My great-grandmother made him dandelion tea for his nerves. On May Day, she scattered primrose petals on the stoop and smiled at me sideways. “So the fairies leave the cows alone,” she said. Some flowers were not allowed in the house and she cured the dog’s limp with comfrey and vinegar. One night my father fell into a ditch on the Shangarry Road and was attacked by a swan — a pen defending her chicks. After that night, he never swallowed a drop.

But what if it were the other way ’round? What if the self’s drive for addiction were its way not of striving for fantasy but of holding up a mirror to Real Life? Everywhere we look, the world tells us to surrender to addiction. Television. Sex. Money. Youth. In Real Life, addiction is what it means to be alive. It follows — doesn’t it? — that Second Life is where we keep addiction at bay. Of course these things are tricky, and sometimes with what’s Real and what’s Second, we may lose track of the wisdom to know the difference.

When in doubt, I look for the ditch with a swan in it.



Funk me, it’s Friday! | 29 February 2008: play or right-click here to download.
Set list:

Wild Cherry: I Feel Sanctified
Brothers Johnson: Get The Funk Out My Face
The Isley Brothers: It’s Your Thing
Room 5 Featuring Oliver Cheatham: Make Luv (Extended Mix)
Prince: Kiss
Tom Tom Club: Genius Of Love
Fred Wesley & The J.B.’s: J.B. Shout
The Unemployed: They Won’t Let Me
Calypso King & The Soul Investigators: Raw Grapes
Chambers Brothers: Funky
Voices of East Harlem: For What It’s Worth
Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings: How Long Do I Have To Wait For You? (Ticklah Remix)
Stevie Wonder: Maybe Your Baby
Aretha Franklin: Groovin’

Funk me, it’s Friday! | 7 March 2008: play or right-click here to download.
Set list:

Earl Van Dyke & the Soul Brothers: The Flick Part I
Earl Van Dyke & the Soul Brothers: The Flick Part II
The Delegates: Pigmy Part 1
The Delegates: Pigmy Part 2
James Brown: Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag [Parts I and II] [instrumental]
James Brown: I’m a Greedy Man (Parts 1 & 2)
The J.B.’s: The Grunt (Parts 1 & 2)
Rufus Thomas: The Breakdown (Part I)
Rufus Thomas: The Breakdown (Part II)
Bobby Franklin’s Insanity: Bring It On Down to Me – Pt I
Bobby Franklin’s Insanity: Bring It On Down to Me – Pt II
Vicki Anderson: The Message from the Soul Sisters (Parts 1 & 2)
Isley Brothers: That Lady (Parts 1 & 2)
Billy Preston: Greazee Part I & II
Lou Donaldson: Funky Mama [Parts 1 & 2]
Don Covay and the Goodtimers: Can’t Stay Away


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